Evacuate The Dancefloor Review

It has been just over a week since I got my hands on the latest aural scriptures from The Goddess, Evacuate The Dancefloor which follows hot on the heels of their UK #1 single of the same name so its about time I reviewed it for the unbelievers.

Heavenly

Evacuate the Dancefloor
Fabulous opening track and a club stomper. Though I don't see the CaCa rip off that some claim. A bit different from the usual Cascada sound, but still a future classic. Not quite up there with What Hurts The Most or Miracle, but still excellent.
9.5/10

Hold On
Starts off a bit badly, almost like a terrible midtempo "indie" track and turns into typical Cascada. Not the best track to follow such a great opener.
5/10

Everytime I Hear Your Name
Similar to Everytime We Touch, only with the verses fast and the first half of the chorus slower. A decent track that manages to sound fresh and new despite following the tried and tested formula
7/10

Ready Or Not
Another heavy hitting dance anthem that will probably take the clubs by storm though it could easily have fitted onto the revious album Perfect Day.
7/10

Note To Dannii: This Is Called Promotion.

Fever
A fan favourite that merges the more electro sound of the title track with the classic Cascada sound. Think Booty Luv's Some Kind Of Rush but harder and with a hint of guitar. Rumoured to be the next single.
9/10

Hold Your Hands Up
A quite tender downtempo number featuring stunning Natalie showing off her sultry vocals accompanied by an acoustic guitar and some drums. Lovely.
8/10

Breathless
A bit of an odd one. Reminds me of Kids In America with its slightly rockier edge. I can see this getting full remix treatment for the clubs though.
7.5/10

Dangerous
The Goddess back to doing what she does best - Hi NRG dance - though this has an added menacing undertone. A video has been filmed (though it seems to have vanished from youtube) so it may be a future single somewhere.
8.5/10

Stunning Natalie showing off another two massive hits

Why You Had To Leave
Very much Cascada by numbers and one of only two substandard / filler type tracks.
6/10


What About Me
Yet another hands-in-the-air floor filler though with a bit more of an electronic edge than similar track on the previous two albums
7/10

Draw The Line
Absolutely stunning ballad where busty beauty natalie showcases her large lumgs with only a piano for company. The highlight of the album and hopefully it will get a single release.
10/10

Overall, far better than previous effort Perfect Day and on par with Everytime We Touch only let down really by the second track taking away from the momentum of the first. Dannii would kill for an album this good.
Bap Rating: Dannii's WMDD's

The Goddess Triumphant!

$ucce$$! Stunning Natalie Horler has claimed her rightful place atop the UK Charts. Despite a publicity stunt by Michael Jackson attempting to claim the title with an old song by dying, Cascada's latest club stomper Evacuate The Dancefloor ascended to the throne from its midweek position of #3.




Take that Dannii! The true Queen Of Clubs is here.

Remember to buy the stunning new album of the same name - out Monday! (or now!)

Kylie USA 2009 - For Me, For You.

Even though Mike from Pop Trash Addicts posted about it first, as did almost every other blogger in the entire universe (because I was asleep), Kylie is finally taking a tour to the US & Canada with 6 - make that 7 and counting - dates in late September / October. Though probably an extension of X2008 with a few choice tracks omitted in favour of some stuff that was a minor hit in the US like Confide In Me (BB Hot Dance #39), Butterfly (US Hot Dance #14) or Red Blooded Woman (US Hot Dance #1), the usual alKylieda suspects rumour mill is going into overdrive with suggestions that it will be a radically revamped show where she will preview new tracks from her 11th studio album (which according to an EMI Press release, will be out this [financial] year).

To celebrate, here is another of her many US club classics - summer smash All I See (BB Dance #4), though fortunately crapper MIMS appears to have been replaced by sexy Marco Da Silva



This calls for a holiday!

The HITS and FLOPS of the week!

Finally, something I post on here gets the success it deserves! Mentioed by myself in an earlier random post, the fabulous Number 1 by Tinchy Stryder featuring N-Dubz claimed the top spot in the UK Singles Chart last week, and looks set to hang on for a second week! Yay! Congratulations to Tinchy, Tuslia, Dappy and Fazer for this well deserved $ucce$$.

You can view the stunning video here.

N-Dubz also confirmed that they have sold over 400,00 copies of their debut album Uncle B

Take that Dannii! Another AATW act that has topped the charts...

And even better news for VILE talentless trollps Hoez Afoul! Not content with the news that they may split asunder like Slutty Sarah's legs at z-list hangout Chinawhites with Racist Cheryl going solo and rent-a-beard Nadine supposedly doign the same, it looks like their latest SHITEFEST is going to be their first official FLOP and miss the Top 10!

And not before time!

However, it has brought out the CUNTS in force - just look at what one deranged GAyer had to say...

"... because whereas The Loving Kind would have gotten away without this kind of thing (just), Untouchable NEEDS this treatment.

I was thinking, instead of us fans buying 20 copies each, fans should be buying 50 copies each. What's £90 or whatever when their Top 10 run is at stake? It is our duty to do this.

This is why I'm setting up the Facebook page 'GET UNTOUCHABLE INTO THE TOP 10 - MULTI-BUY'.

If we say get, 1000 members from the UK signing up, who'll all pledge to buy 50 CDs/Downloads/Vinyls each (With CDs, separate transactions and in separate stores - so some travelling around the country will be involved here), then we could get them selling 50,000. And then with the amount it'd sell ordinarily, it could have a good chance of #1.

Click here and join up... Facebook Group"

Desperate! Deranged! Deaf! What a waste of dole money...

Yes that IS a picture of purchases of one format made by that pathetic CUNT. On Monday alone! And they did the same for their previous aural turd...

Makes DULLta's Cultists look positively sane by comparision - the record for bulk purchases being 37 copies of the almost bearable second album Mistaken Identity and at least they were spread across different formats from different (well three) countries...

Top 10 $ucce$$ for Dannii!

Take that Kylie and haters! Dannii's massive mammaries have boosted her into the Top 10 of the FMH Hot 100 Hall Of Fame! beating strumpet Jordan, egotistical Miss Tyra and epilectic banshee Beyawnsay to a respectable #8 - her biggest hit since heaving her WMDD's out for the video of You Won't Forget About Me back in 2004.

This is what the wank addicts at FHM had to say:

#8

Dannii Minogue

Highest Ever Position: 10

Career High:Transforming herself from awkward teen tearaway Emma Jackson in Home And Away, to voluptuous pop vixen in the early Nineties – upping her cup size to a magnificent “D” in the process.

Snippet: “I’ve been in Playboy in Australia. I loved it. I think it's really empowering and positive towards women.” Hear! Hear!

$ucce$$! To celebrate, here are Dannii's Top 5 sexiest videos:

#5 I Begin To Wonder (UK #2, 2003)

In lace gloves and curve-clinging red dress, Dannii romps round an industrial estate.

#4 So Under Pressure (UK #20, 2006)

Sibling suffering has never been so sexy! In sympathy with sister Kylie's illness, Dannii frolics with her lipstick lesbian dance troupe and squeezes her famous rack into a tight white bikini to writhe suggestively with an albino python.

Watch the video here.

#3 All I Wanna Do (UK #4, 1997)

Busty blonde Dannii's first video appearance, featuring sexy showering Dannii, ample cleavage and vintage internet porn surfers!

#2 You Won't Forget About Me (UK #7, 2004)

Heaving out the WMDD's made this one of Dannii's most-watched videos.

Watch the video here.

#1 Put The Needle On It (UK #7, 2002)

Dirty hands, she demands! Seductively posing astride a massive 12"er, pole dancing and rubbing herself against a wall that grows invisible hands while showcasing her buxom breasts in sexy cutting edge designer clobber. It must have been cold on set...

All hail the kWeN oV kLuBz1111