Heating Up The Blue Lagoon

I must apologise to my reader for the lack of updates - the excitement of The Goddess and Queen Toy Toy releases overshadowed everything momentarily. Though a showing of a fabulous video on Clubland TV reminded me of a post I said I was going to do before Evacuate The Dancefloor appeared.

Hunky David

German band Blue Lagoon are the reason bisexuality was invented. The sexy couple Estrella and David O'Joseph would convince the most ardent hetero or homo to swing the other way... For further proof, check out the video for their debut German Gold selling single Break My Stride. note the crotch thrusting at the 2:14 mark...

Fancy A Sandwich?

The couple specialise in reggae covers of classic tracks with hits in Germany, Sweden, Austria and Denmark as well as various other countries across Europe - though they have yet to break the UK despite AATW almost giving them some promotion.

Stunning Estrella

Having released two albums Club Lagoon and Sentimental Fools, the dishy duo are hopefully working on a third while raising their family.



You can visit their website where you can preview the albums and find a few more videos on youtube. All pictures were shamelessly borrowed from their myspace page.

The Goddess Triumphant!

$ucce$$! Stunning Natalie Horler has claimed her rightful place atop the UK Charts. Despite a publicity stunt by Michael Jackson attempting to claim the title with an old song by dying, Cascada's latest club stomper Evacuate The Dancefloor ascended to the throne from its midweek position of #3.




Take that Dannii! The true Queen Of Clubs is here.

Remember to buy the stunning new album of the same name - out Monday! (or now!)

Jesus Desnudos!

Jesus Vazquez is one of the best known and most popular Spanish TV presenters fronting the Spanish version of Deal Or No Deal, ¡Allá tú! - and one of the highest profile openly gay celebrities in Europe, having outed himself in Spanish magazine Zero which, if anything, boosted his profile and his career. Having won awards for presenting the sexy Spaniard has also been a spokesman for an amnesty campaign against domestic violence (that highlighted that it could happen to anyone regardless of gender or sexuality), returned to modelling occasionally, dipped his toe into acting, been active in Gay Rights and awareness campaigns and hosted various award shows.

Desnudos! Putting most 23 year olds to shame with his tanned and toned torso

At age 43, he is still a popular pin up with men and women alike (especially due to full frontal naked snaps of him on a nude beach circulating the internet and Spanish gossip mags) , though the former model is happily married to partner Roberto Cortes, breaking the hearts of hordes of horny Spanish Senoritas and a few Seniors.

Sexy - male cleavage to rival Dannii's rack!

However, it is a little know fact that the sexy Spaniard had a brief singing career. Back in 1993, he released the album A Dos Milimetros Escasos De Tu Bora on BMG / Ariola records. A surprisingly good record typically cheesy 90's Spanish Pop such as lead single Y Yo Te Bese but without the usual cheap production that marred most 90's records. The booklet is particularly thick and glossy, containing some rather sexy pictures of Vazquez, including one in tight leather trousers and a shirt opened to reveal a toned chest - they knew his market!




Turn On: Everything! And if the music doesn't float your boat, the bookelt pictures will...
Turn Off: It ends after only 11 tracks
Bap Rating: Dannii's WMDD's
Visit: Official Site www.jesusvazquez.es

Sadly, this album is long out of print and difficult to get hold of unless you are willing to trawl through second hand shops in Barcelona or Madrid in the hope of finding a copy.

ISCHGLucky...

She's got it!

Kylie kicked off her European Festival Circuit commitments today in style at the "ISHGL On Top Of The Mountain" gig in Austria- and it looks like these gigs are forming a third leg of the X2008 tour (now X2009)

Lights..... Sound.....Mind.....Body.....

Opening with Speakerphone - complete with new stage props and stunning Gaultier ensemble (half of which seems to be recycled from the Atlantis opening) and dodgy sunglasses before classics like Can't Get You Out Of My Head, In Your Eyes, Loveboat and X tracks Wow (pictured above), 2 Hearts and Like A Drug.

Up yours alKylieda! - Kylie sticks to her guns to do Loveboat

According to dek from sayhey who was there with his daughter, the setlist was:

Speakerphone
Boombox /Can't Get You Out Of My Head
In Your Eyes

Heart Beat Rock
Wow
Shocked

Like A Drug
Slow
2 Hearts

Loveboat
Spinning Around
Better The Devil You Know
I Believe In You (Ballad)

On A Night Like This
Your Disco Needs You
Kids
Step Back In Time
In Your Arms

Love At First Sight

Kylie also stated in a pre-show interview that she felt it was "time" to get recording for her 11th studio album, so with work already started there is a slight chance that a taster might slip into one of these gigs - much like In Your Eyes snuck in during the V performance...

Lucky for Kylie, (but not for straight male fans) she had finished changing...

Top 10 $ucce$$ for Dannii!

Take that Kylie and haters! Dannii's massive mammaries have boosted her into the Top 10 of the FMH Hot 100 Hall Of Fame! beating strumpet Jordan, egotistical Miss Tyra and epilectic banshee Beyawnsay to a respectable #8 - her biggest hit since heaving her WMDD's out for the video of You Won't Forget About Me back in 2004.

This is what the wank addicts at FHM had to say:

#8

Dannii Minogue

Highest Ever Position: 10

Career High:Transforming herself from awkward teen tearaway Emma Jackson in Home And Away, to voluptuous pop vixen in the early Nineties – upping her cup size to a magnificent “D” in the process.

Snippet: “I’ve been in Playboy in Australia. I loved it. I think it's really empowering and positive towards women.” Hear! Hear!

$ucce$$! To celebrate, here are Dannii's Top 5 sexiest videos:

#5 I Begin To Wonder (UK #2, 2003)

In lace gloves and curve-clinging red dress, Dannii romps round an industrial estate.

#4 So Under Pressure (UK #20, 2006)

Sibling suffering has never been so sexy! In sympathy with sister Kylie's illness, Dannii frolics with her lipstick lesbian dance troupe and squeezes her famous rack into a tight white bikini to writhe suggestively with an albino python.

Watch the video here.

#3 All I Wanna Do (UK #4, 1997)

Busty blonde Dannii's first video appearance, featuring sexy showering Dannii, ample cleavage and vintage internet porn surfers!

#2 You Won't Forget About Me (UK #7, 2004)

Heaving out the WMDD's made this one of Dannii's most-watched videos.

Watch the video here.

#1 Put The Needle On It (UK #7, 2002)

Dirty hands, she demands! Seductively posing astride a massive 12"er, pole dancing and rubbing herself against a wall that grows invisible hands while showcasing her buxom breasts in sexy cutting edge designer clobber. It must have been cold on set...

All hail the kWeN oV kLuBz1111

Queen Annie

Probably one of the most underrated Diva's of recent times is the fabulous Annie Lennox. Though her stellar work with Dave Steward as the Eurythmics is recognised and praised worldwide (and rightly so!), the sexy Scotswomens solo work is sadly ignored. Apart from those who remember she did the wacky crazy dress sense long before the current crop of try-hards - and she could actually carry it off with style and panache. With the release of The Annie Lennox Collection, I can't think of a better time to peruse the back catalogue of this feisty female superstar.



First solo album Diva is a veritable pop masterpiece - spawning 5 singles and a fabulous video album, continuing the trend started with The Eurythmics for artistic and creative videos - and the most successful commercially. Containing a diverse array of musical styles and themes, many of which are rather dark and most highly personal - something that continues throughout her solo work.
Turn On: Little Bird, Precious
Turn Off: Don't you dare touch it! This is perfection!
Bap Rating: Toys Treasures
Trivia: A cover of the Precious b-side Step-By-Step was a sizeable hit for crack and vibrator addict Whitney Houston



Follow up Medusa was slightly more low-key due to Annie wishing to escape the media spotlight and allow her young daughters a proper, private upbringing. Consisting of cover songs previously recorded by male artists (including a haunting version of Whiter Shade Of Pale) it doesn't quite hit the same standard of Diva but contains some fabulously subverted gems - and despite commercial success, remains Annie's weakest solo project.
Turn On: Take Me To The River, No More "I Love You's"
Turn Off: Train In Vain
Bap Rating: Paris Pancakes
Trivia: The original version of Whiter Shade Of Pail was the first record Lennox ever purchased.



It was many years before Lennox returned with her third album (having spent the time as a mother and rejoining Dave to release the album Peace) but it was worth the wait. Bare is exquisitely haunting and melancholy in every way and each track is a masterpiece.
Turn On: Pavement Cracks, Lonliness
Turn Off: This masterpiece needs listened to in its entirety and does not contain a single dud.
Bap Rating: Dannii's WMDD's
Trivia: Bare produced 3 #1 hits on the US Hot Dance / Club Play chart, but no singles were released in the UK



Final solo effort, Songs Of Mass Destruction is another that sees Lennox embracing a number of darker, moodier and issue led songs - though it is probably her hardest to get into.
Turn On: Dark Road, Smithereens
Turn Off: Sing
Baps Rating: Mutya's Mammaries
Trivia: Sing contained vocal contributions from 23 female stars including the Sugababes, Anastasia, Celine Dion, Skankira and the poopoo - the latter ruining the track entirely. A nice idea, but too many cooks...

and onto the collection itself:



Little Bird
An amazing anthem, filled with such passion and strength, yet speaking from a deep depression. Beyond fabulous. The amazing video is the cherry on top
10/10

Walking On Broken Glass
Another stunning track delivered with emotion lacking in most of the FLOP tarts of today. Also accompanied by a sensational video
8/10

Why
A lovely track, but compared to many of its peers on Diva, it doesn't have quite the same punch unfortunately
7/10

No More "I Love You's"
Another epic from the Aberdonian Amazon - delivered with just the right emotional inflection when required. Yet anotehr one of the many fabulous videos, set in a decadent gender-bending brothel
8/10



Precious
Remeniscant of the electro-funk of some of the later Eurythmics work, this personal ode to her elder daughter at the time of writing (and is now dedicated them both) . Immensely powerful and stunning - and the video is another breathtaking masterpiece.
10/10

A Whiter Shade Of Pale
Beautifully haunting and more than a match for the original
7/10

A Thousand Beautiful Things
Simply stunning
9/10

Sing
What should have been an emotive and powerful anthem fails simply has too many others involved - and many of their contributions are far too insipid or robotic for something like this. The track had the potential, and still does. Just lose the egotistical bitches like Skankira and the poopoo...
4/10

Pavement Cracks
Another depressingly beautiful or beautifully depressing track.
9/10

Love Song For A Vampire
Perfectly matching the different emotions one would expect in a haunting vampire love ballad and making something shimmeringly gorgeous. It oozes unrequited lust and desire. Shame about the film...
10/10

Cold
Another stunningly haunting ballad with a stunning video
8/10

Dark Road
Another moody number from La Lennox
6/10

Pattern Of My Life
Previously titled "Closer Now" when it was a b-side by dullards Keane, one can only assume this is an improvement on the original. As it stands, it is very dull, insipid and uninspired, adn not what you'd expect from Annie.
2/10

Shining Light
Another cover, this time of "britpop" / "indie" Oirish bores Ash, though at least this time the song has been resuced from coma-inducing shitefest to listenable. Though it is still a substandard effort by Annie's very lofty standards.
4/10

Bonus CD:
Into The West
There are no words to describe just how stunning this epic is. Powerful and emotive lyrics and vocal delivery only add to the punch of this bitter lament. And this is without taking it within the context of the setting. This track remains one of the few to ever move me to tears.
10/10

Ladies Of The Canyon
A rather dull cover of a Joni Mitchell track
6/10

Hush, Hush, Hush
A haunting and woeful ballad is what Annie excels at, and this is no exception.
7/10

Many Rivers To Cross (Live, from Idol Gives Back)
Rather tedious when placed alongside the rest of Annie's back catalogue, but a nice enough performance.
5/10

Dream Angus
Any fellow Scots should know this song by heart, and Annie's interpretation is sublime.
8/10

Mama
One of the craziest woman in music covering THE craziest woman in music - could only ever be good. This Bjork classic won't go down well with those that like MOR Annie, but she adds a sublime darkness that Bjork counldn't hope to emulate.
7/10

Everybody Hurts (duet with Alicia Keys) (Live from "Keep A Child Alive"'s Black Ball UK)
I really don't like this song at all though this duet is bearable
3/10

Everytime We Say Goodbye
Beautiful
7/10



Anyone with taste needs to buy The Annie Lennox Collection now. Especially the 2 x CD & DVD set

Visit: The Annie Lennox youtube Channel; Annie Lennox Official Site

Viva La Lopez!

With the forthcoming Greatest Hits Still From The Block to be released shortly, I felt it was time to do a countdown of my favourite tracks by the boricuan beauty. La Lopez is probably the last "Triple Threat" we are likely to see - singer, dancer, actress as well as business woman, perfumier, sex symbol, fashion icon, marathon runner, mother and role model for latina loveleys everywhere. The Bronx babe is also famous for her rotund rump - bringing sexy back and proving to the world that women with curves are hot, skeletons are not!

#10 Porque Te Marchas
(From Como Ama Una Mujer)
A Spanish version of (Can't Believe) This Is Me from Rebirth, this epic ballad has all the passion of the original with extra raw and emotive vocals from the bootlyicious boruica.

#9 Hold It Don't Drop It
(from Brave)
A throwback to the classic Soul Train days of the 70's when disco divas reigned supreme. If this had been the lead single, then Brave would have been huge. Shame the artwork is rather horrible

Live La Lopez!

#8 Si Ya Se Acabo
(From J Lo)
While her Spanish album Como Ama Una Mujer is beyond fabulous throughout, nothing gets quite as close to the brilliance of this chirpy little number. I have no idea what it is about though it always reminds me that I keep promising myself that I will learn Spanish.

#7 I'm Real
(From J Lo)
Fresh feelgood music with attitude.



#6 Waiting For Tonight (Hex's Momentous Radio Mix)
(From J To Tha L-O The Remixes)
Classic J Lo and probably her signature tune - and while the original (from On The 6) was fabulous, the Hex Hector mixes managed to take things up a notch. Has several fabulous videos as well based around the original, remix, Una Noche Mas, Una Noche Mas remix, Spanglish and Spanglish remix - all seamless.

#5 Whatever You Wanna Do
(From Rebirth)
While most fans will site Cherry Pie as the standout track from the much misunderstood Rebirth, it has nothing on this funky ditty that James Brown would have killed to perform. Went down a storm when the voluptous vixen performed it at NY Pride.

This is probably the wrong video...

#4 I'm Glad
(From This Is Me... Then)

Flashdance has never been sexier.

#3 Ain't It Funny
(From J Lo)
A sultry number with a sensational Herb Ritts directed video. On a related note, Ain't It Funny (Murder Remix) just missed making this list.

#2 The One / The One (Version 2)
(From This Is Me... Then)

A stunning heartfelt ballad from her finest album ever. Choosing between versions is almost impossible, though the original is slightly more shimmeringly gorgeous.

Stunning!

#1 Feelin' So Good (featuring Big Pun & Fat Joe)
(From On The 6)


One of the few gems salvageable from her stinker of a debut. A nice laid back funky number that sounds as good when lounging by the pool as it does hitting the clubs - and the song that started the infamous trend of La Lopez letting lesser talents from her posse of rent-a-crappers pollute her records.

Viva La Lopez! Note the fabulous furs - no doubt taken fresh from the pets of haters.

21cm, otherwise known as 8"

A picture says a thousand words - especially when you don't understand the language. So when I saw the cover of Duo Kie's latest album 21cm on the shelf in El Corte Ingles I had to buy it.



Not only does the cover look like a censored gaydar advert, the title is equally suggestive. Though assuming that the title applies to the band member in question, he must be a grower.


The rather fabulous Yeah! video

A staple of the Spanish Hip-Hop scene since 1999, 21cm is the duo's 4th album.

Turn On: Aryutokintumi?
Turn Off: En El Club Con 50 Centimos
Bap Rating: Mutya's Mammaries
If you like this: check out my earlier posts about Calle 13 and keep reading for some more trashy Spanish Hip-Hop
Visit: the Duo Kie myspace

Beyond Fabulous!

Anyone bothering to read this may have noticed my brief guide to Calle 13 last month, where I declared Electro Movimiento to be the highlight of the Puerto Rican duo's latest album Los De Atras Vienen Conmigo - maybe someone at NORTE has been reading as the track has been given a fabulously sexy video!



You can check out this stunning visual orgasm at the Calle 13 Official youtube channel, alongside a making of clip. The opening few seconds alone will have Dannii wetter than that infamous poolside shower!

The Baps give this their seal of approval - now all that is needed is someone to snap this up in the UK.

The Anthem Of The Year - Out Now!

After months of waiting, the fabulous new single from hardcore pin-up Darren Styles, Girls Like You has finally been released!

Shame AATW seemed to have forgotten all about how to promote. Darren's most commercial single ever has been languishing on the "Coming Soon" section of the release schedules since November 2008. A digital bundle quietly appeared on iTunes on Monday, and as far as anyone knows no promos have been sent to radio or clubs...

The stunning video was filmed in LA in October - eagle eyed viewers may spot the main bint from Knobbie's Rock DJ making a cameo with the same hairstyle. Thats if they can stop freeze framing trying to catch a glimpse of Darren's chest as a horde of leggy lovelies attempt to rip off his shirt...



This fabulous single gets top marks from me - and my reader may have noticed it was my top track of 2008.

1. Fugitive's Radio Edit (3.21)
2. Fugitive's Sexy Crazy Remix (5.48 )
3. Flip & Fill Remix (6.41)
4. Hypasonic Remix (4.18 )
5. Riffs & Rays Remix (8.12)
6. Mike Di Scala Remix (7.00)

Stop this top tune from being a Dannii sized FLOP by downloading the sexy six track from iTunes.

Snow Days

Snow is fabulous! As long as you are indoors. Having to endure a five mile cross country trekk after being snowed into work is not. Just as well I have the perfect song for such a day by the fabulous Audio Bullys.

Taken from their debut album, Ego War, and released in the UK on a stunning 12" White vinyl, The Snow is a fabulously catchy ditty about the widespread cocaine abuse in the UK. You can listen below



My speakers aren't working so I can only assume that the audio is correct on the video...



You can get the limited 10" White Vinyl from the discogs marketplace or download the track from itunes / 7 digital. Ego War from all the usual places (ebay, HMV, amazon etc)

Holiday Essentials #2: Calle 13

Hailing from Puerto Rico, Calle 13 are probably best known for remixing No Hay Igual for Nelly Furtado, working with Volito and for appearing on the scene during the explosion of Reggaeton. However, while dipping their toes into reggaeton and hip-hop, they have incorporated many different styles and influences in their music across their three studio albums - including traditional music and slang from various countries they have toured.



Residente's lyrics are often satirical and sarcastic with clever use of parody. With tracks that touch on the typical "urban" themes (sex, drugs, women of easy virtue), they do so in an atypical style - you wouldn't get 50 Cent or TI proclaiming that they have a small penis and premature ejeculation problems in their tepid shitefests! The band have also courted controversy with sexually explicit lyrics, references to drug use, attacks on the Puerto Rican government and the FBI, and accusations of racism & mysogyny.

Residente is rather attractive in that skinny Latino thug way.



Calle 13 (2005)

Their debut album is rather impressive, though a tad too long for my liking - what is it about "urban" acts and never ending albums? - and while it starts out strong it tends to get weaker towards the end.

Turn On: Suave Mix
Turn Off: Pi-Di-Di-Di
Bap Rating: Bionda's Buxoms



Residente O Visitante (2007)

Easily the weakest of the three, caused a stir amoung fans and critics for daring to use influences and slang from other countries and cultures! While rather ambitious, it doesn't live up the the promise of their previous effort but is never the less a solid effort. Having the four singles from the previous album tacked on to the end of the International versions only highlights the weaknesses. However, it does contain a fabulous attack on the old crone in Sin Exagerer

Turn On: La Crema
Turn Off: La Fokin Moda
Bap Rating: Paris Hilton's Pancakes





Los De Atras Vienen Conmigo (2008)

Probably their strongest and most cohesive effort, managing to switch between styles and genres yet flow nicely as a whole - indeed skipping any tracks actually ruins the flow of the album! The classy introduction, the subject matter of several tracks (Fiesta De Locos, John El Esquizofrenico) booklet pictures seem to suggest Residente is placing himself in a mental hospital, adding to the flavour. While it does have one or two weaker tracks, it doesn't have a single dud.

Turn On: Electro Movimiento
Turn Off: Ven Y Criticame
Bap Rating: Dannii's WMDD's

Visit: The official Calle 13 youtube channel, Calle 13 Website, Calle 13 on myspace