The Worst of 2008

What better way to bring in the new year than to reflect on some of the shite we have been subjected to throughout 2008

#1 The Early Years (Vol 1) - Dannii Minogue

The whole Early Years debacle could take pages but in a nutshell this much delayed and hyped compilation is an utter joke and an insult to Dannii's handful of loyal fans. Instead of giving us the unreleased gems and sexy snaps of a pre-surgically resculpted Dannii that were promised, we get a bunch of stuff we already have - and three shitty unreleased "remixes". To add insult to injury it is only half the album! This latest feeble cash-in is destined to be the latest in a long line of more disasterous FLOP and cements her status as the Court Jester of Pop. EPIC FAIL.

Worth saving: Be Careful (7" Edit) which should have been on the album in the first place.



#2 Turd Shandy - the poopoo

While the M-Trollas will have you believe this aural turd is a nod to her Noo Yoywk dance roots, anyone with a brain knows it was a desperate attempt for the aged crone to get down wit da kidz y'allz - and it fails on every level. And as for the cameltoe - put it away for fuck sake.

Worth saving: nothing - this stinker is consistently unlistenable throughout. Though it would serve as a timely reminded for older relatives that think they are "trendy" how utterly embarassing they are...

#3 Hero - X Factor finalists

Turning an insipid whiny peepee ballad into an insipid whiney tuneless durge - Zzzzzzzzzzzzz



#4 Frank & Back To Black - Junkie Wino

How many times can a VILE skeletal drunken junkie skank release the same album? The only thing worse that the horribly overrated BTB is that it is packaged with her debut back from when she was fat (which has also been reissued countless times...). Fuck off until you can do something new. And I blame this smackhead for Rihanna inflicting infinate versions of Good Girl Gone Bad on the charts.

Worth saving: You Know I'm No Good is fabulous despite everything.



#5 The Fame - Slaggy CaCa

Repulsive, pretentious, painfully overrated - combining the talents of Lisa FLOP-Lee and the personality of Ratshit Stdvens. The sooner this bland strumpet vanishes up her own arse, the better.

Thanks to Kane for the much improved and far more accurate alternative cover.

Worth saving: this pungent shite would make good manure for the budding Alan Titchmarsh.