Friday, March 27, 2009

Random Stuff

I am NEVER slagging off the NHS again! After enduring the barbaric treatment of my local hospital, recently rated the third worst in Europe I couldn't be arsed completing the posts I ahd planned, so in the meantime here is some random stuff I am enjoying at the moment.

And what better way to recover from being butchered than by bathing in the Orange Radiance of the Queen Of Clubland! Perma-tanned sex symbol K Lo is back to her breast and is doing her bit for the ailing economy by bathing in Ronseal to supplement her spray tan - and turning one of the poopoo's forgotten turds into a future classic!

AATW managed to once again forget to promote their acts so the release of the latest single by hardcore pin-up boy Darren Styles managed to go completely unnoticed by everyone, even with a video that sees him being chased by underwear clad strumpets trying to seduce him into bed.

However, the reverse is almost true for current AATW in-house favourites Blackout Crew - who despite being derided even by stalwart AATW fans as "cheap, nasty, talentless CHAV scum" have made another nonsensical ditty about themselves. The video for Dialed is rather shamelessly tacky, but sexy member AKA looks particulary hot in his pinstripe shirt and grey waistcoat

While following on from the proud tradition of the fabulous Sunblock, Swedish sensations E-Type return with a rather average track and a pneumatic video featuring a bevvy of busty beauties.

and still wearing his Star In The Hood clobber, Tinchy Stryder has teemed up with the Chav-tastic N-Dubz for latest single Number 1 - probably an ode to Dannii's inability to achieve one on a chart that matters.

Everyones favourite Lesbian Icon P!nk serves up yet another stunning video with her latest single Please Don't Leave Me which is a humourous take on Misery complete with some sexy Nurse outfits...

and finally an old classic from Spanish Hip-Hop sex symbol, Haze who I shall be writing about more shortly.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Queen Annie

Probably one of the most underrated Diva's of recent times is the fabulous Annie Lennox. Though her stellar work with Dave Steward as the Eurythmics is recognised and praised worldwide (and rightly so!), the sexy Scotswomens solo work is sadly ignored. Apart from those who remember she did the wacky crazy dress sense long before the current crop of try-hards - and she could actually carry it off with style and panache. With the release of The Annie Lennox Collection, I can't think of a better time to peruse the back catalogue of this feisty female superstar.

First solo album Diva is a veritable pop masterpiece - spawning 5 singles and a fabulous video album, continuing the trend started with The Eurythmics for artistic and creative videos - and the most successful commercially. Containing a diverse array of musical styles and themes, many of which are rather dark and most highly personal - something that continues throughout her solo work.
Turn On: Little Bird, Precious
Turn Off: Don't you dare touch it! This is perfection!
Bap Rating: Toys Treasures
Trivia: A cover of the Precious b-side Step-By-Step was a sizeable hit for crack and vibrator addict Whitney Houston

Follow up Medusa was slightly more low-key due to Annie wishing to escape the media spotlight and allow her young daughters a proper, private upbringing. Consisting of cover songs previously recorded by male artists (including a haunting version of Whiter Shade Of Pale) it doesn't quite hit the same standard of Diva but contains some fabulously subverted gems - and despite commercial success, remains Annie's weakest solo project.
Turn On: Take Me To The River, No More "I Love You's"
Turn Off: Train In Vain
Bap Rating: Paris Pancakes
Trivia: The original version of Whiter Shade Of Pail was the first record Lennox ever purchased.

It was many years before Lennox returned with her third album (having spent the time as a mother and rejoining Dave to release the album Peace) but it was worth the wait. Bare is exquisitely haunting and melancholy in every way and each track is a masterpiece.
Turn On: Pavement Cracks, Lonliness
Turn Off: This masterpiece needs listened to in its entirety and does not contain a single dud.
Bap Rating: Dannii's WMDD's
Trivia: Bare produced 3 #1 hits on the US Hot Dance / Club Play chart, but no singles were released in the UK

Final solo effort, Songs Of Mass Destruction is another that sees Lennox embracing a number of darker, moodier and issue led songs - though it is probably her hardest to get into.
Turn On: Dark Road, Smithereens
Turn Off: Sing
Baps Rating: Mutya's Mammaries
Trivia: Sing contained vocal contributions from 23 female stars including the Sugababes, Anastasia, Celine Dion, Skankira and the poopoo - the latter ruining the track entirely. A nice idea, but too many cooks...

and onto the collection itself:

Little Bird
An amazing anthem, filled with such passion and strength, yet speaking from a deep depression. Beyond fabulous. The amazing video is the cherry on top

Walking On Broken Glass
Another stunning track delivered with emotion lacking in most of the FLOP tarts of today. Also accompanied by a sensational video

A lovely track, but compared to many of its peers on Diva, it doesn't have quite the same punch unfortunately

No More "I Love You's"
Another epic from the Aberdonian Amazon - delivered with just the right emotional inflection when required. Yet anotehr one of the many fabulous videos, set in a decadent gender-bending brothel

Remeniscant of the electro-funk of some of the later Eurythmics work, this personal ode to her elder daughter at the time of writing (and is now dedicated them both) . Immensely powerful and stunning - and the video is another breathtaking masterpiece.

A Whiter Shade Of Pale
Beautifully haunting and more than a match for the original

A Thousand Beautiful Things
Simply stunning

What should have been an emotive and powerful anthem fails simply has too many others involved - and many of their contributions are far too insipid or robotic for something like this. The track had the potential, and still does. Just lose the egotistical bitches like Skankira and the poopoo...

Pavement Cracks
Another depressingly beautiful or beautifully depressing track.

Love Song For A Vampire
Perfectly matching the different emotions one would expect in a haunting vampire love ballad and making something shimmeringly gorgeous. It oozes unrequited lust and desire. Shame about the film...

Another stunningly haunting ballad with a stunning video

Dark Road
Another moody number from La Lennox

Pattern Of My Life
Previously titled "Closer Now" when it was a b-side by dullards Keane, one can only assume this is an improvement on the original. As it stands, it is very dull, insipid and uninspired, adn not what you'd expect from Annie.

Shining Light
Another cover, this time of "britpop" / "indie" Oirish bores Ash, though at least this time the song has been resuced from coma-inducing shitefest to listenable. Though it is still a substandard effort by Annie's very lofty standards.

Bonus CD:
Into The West
There are no words to describe just how stunning this epic is. Powerful and emotive lyrics and vocal delivery only add to the punch of this bitter lament. And this is without taking it within the context of the setting. This track remains one of the few to ever move me to tears.

Ladies Of The Canyon
A rather dull cover of a Joni Mitchell track

Hush, Hush, Hush
A haunting and woeful ballad is what Annie excels at, and this is no exception.

Many Rivers To Cross (Live, from Idol Gives Back)
Rather tedious when placed alongside the rest of Annie's back catalogue, but a nice enough performance.

Dream Angus
Any fellow Scots should know this song by heart, and Annie's interpretation is sublime.

One of the craziest woman in music covering THE craziest woman in music - could only ever be good. This Bjork classic won't go down well with those that like MOR Annie, but she adds a sublime darkness that Bjork counldn't hope to emulate.

Everybody Hurts (duet with Alicia Keys) (Live from "Keep A Child Alive"'s Black Ball UK)
I really don't like this song at all though this duet is bearable

Everytime We Say Goodbye

Anyone with taste needs to buy The Annie Lennox Collection now. Especially the 2 x CD & DVD set

Visit: The Annie Lennox youtube Channel; Annie Lennox Official Site

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Viva La Lopez!

With the forthcoming Greatest Hits Still From The Block to be released shortly, I felt it was time to do a countdown of my favourite tracks by the boricuan beauty. La Lopez is probably the last "Triple Threat" we are likely to see - singer, dancer, actress as well as business woman, perfumier, sex symbol, fashion icon, marathon runner, mother and role model for latina loveleys everywhere. The Bronx babe is also famous for her rotund rump - bringing sexy back and proving to the world that women with curves are hot, skeletons are not!

#10 Porque Te Marchas
(From Como Ama Una Mujer)
A Spanish version of (Can't Believe) This Is Me from Rebirth, this epic ballad has all the passion of the original with extra raw and emotive vocals from the bootlyicious boruica.

#9 Hold It Don't Drop It
(from Brave)
A throwback to the classic Soul Train days of the 70's when disco divas reigned supreme. If this had been the lead single, then Brave would have been huge. Shame the artwork is rather horrible

Live La Lopez!

#8 Si Ya Se Acabo
(From J Lo)
While her Spanish album Como Ama Una Mujer is beyond fabulous throughout, nothing gets quite as close to the brilliance of this chirpy little number. I have no idea what it is about though it always reminds me that I keep promising myself that I will learn Spanish.

#7 I'm Real
(From J Lo)
Fresh feelgood music with attitude.

#6 Waiting For Tonight (Hex's Momentous Radio Mix)
(From J To Tha L-O The Remixes)
Classic J Lo and probably her signature tune - and while the original (from On The 6) was fabulous, the Hex Hector mixes managed to take things up a notch. Has several fabulous videos as well based around the original, remix, Una Noche Mas, Una Noche Mas remix, Spanglish and Spanglish remix - all seamless.

#5 Whatever You Wanna Do
(From Rebirth)
While most fans will site Cherry Pie as the standout track from the much misunderstood Rebirth, it has nothing on this funky ditty that James Brown would have killed to perform. Went down a storm when the voluptous vixen performed it at NY Pride.

This is probably the wrong video...

#4 I'm Glad
(From This Is Me... Then)

Flashdance has never been sexier.

#3 Ain't It Funny
(From J Lo)
A sultry number with a sensational Herb Ritts directed video. On a related note, Ain't It Funny (Murder Remix) just missed making this list.

#2 The One / The One (Version 2)
(From This Is Me... Then)

A stunning heartfelt ballad from her finest album ever. Choosing between versions is almost impossible, though the original is slightly more shimmeringly gorgeous.


#1 Feelin' So Good (featuring Big Pun & Fat Joe)
(From On The 6)

One of the few gems salvageable from her stinker of a debut. A nice laid back funky number that sounds as good when lounging by the pool as it does hitting the clubs - and the song that started the infamous trend of La Lopez letting lesser talents from her posse of rent-a-crappers pollute her records.

Viva La Lopez! Note the fabulous furs - no doubt taken fresh from the pets of haters.